i am so flat

"You're flat," he told my sister.

"What?" she said.

"Flat.. Right here," my five-year-old son waved his hand over my sisters belly.

He was trying to use his new word, "fat".

You see, "fat" is a bad word around our house. Actually, it is simply a word we don't say. Unless we're talking to each other. Two fatties. Otherwise, the word is off limits. We don't say the caterpillar is fat. We don't say that man is fat. We just don't say "fat".

My son learned the word fat when my hubby slipped up [he is not really aware of our unspoken word. He's not fat.] and called the dog "fat". Son tried the word out with his aunt. [While, he was trying to use the new word. Flat versus fat.] She didn't like it.

So, Son and I had a talk about fat. About being fat. And saying fat. [Not flat.]

"See, Honey, Mom's fat." I confessed, ashamed.

He studied me. My rolly belly. My huge boobs. Yes, I was, undeniably fat.

"Why are you fat, Mommy?"

Time for raw honesty. I took a deep breath. "Because I eat too much and don't exercise enough." There, I said it. I felt so ashamed. Now, he knew.

"I'm not fat," he said.

"No, praise God, you're not."

"You wanna know why?"

"Pray tell, why?"

" 'Cause I go like this," he said and pumped his arms up and down in the air. "I go like this whenever I'm watching TV. I exercise!" Then he proceeded to exercise his way all around the kitchen and the dining room and the living room. Yes, I suppose, that is one wonderful reason why he is not fat. Like his mother.

So, now my oldest knows his mother is flat, er, fat.