not me monday post

Well, it's been awhile... but what the heck, why not!!

It's not me Monday and here's what I have not done this week:

It was not me who has been sneaking candy bars from my mother-in-law's cabinet. I am a way better house guest than that.... It is not me who waits until everyone is in bed sleeping before creeping into the kitchen and helping myself to her goodies... Not me.

It is not me who is terrified of facing the music after vacation. Not me who is dreading stepping on those darn scales in a few weeks and seeing the harsh reality of sneaking candy and eating junk food.

It is not me who doesn't believe her husband when he whispers "you're so sexy" into my ear. I do not think "he's so lying" before sweetly saying, "thanks, babe". It is not me who pretends to be skinny when he kisses me. Not me. I am so in touch with reality.

not me monday

It's Not Me Monday over at MckMama's Blog. Where the truth is skewed into a wondrous list of what I really did NOT do this week.

FAT GIRL CONFESSIONS

It was not me who totally signed up for the YMCA "Lose to Win" Weightloss Challenge!! I did not interrogate the trim personal trainer named Mike before enlisting in the program. It was not me who point blank asked "will there be people... um, my size in the program?"

It was not me who actually enjoyed her morning work out this AM with the handsome hubby. I did not peddle "three miles" on the stationary bike and then head to the treadmill for another 15 minutes of workout. Everyone knows us fat girls don't' work out.

It was not me who won't buy more clothes in this yucky, huge size because I want to wait until I loose weight to buy more clothes. I wouldn't' do that. I'm a realist.

It is not me considered never eating again after continuous evenings of binging. I did not tell myself that I hate food. I did not wish that I was actually addicted to drugs instead of to food so that I could just quit cold turkey. It was not me who wished I could just quit food like an addicted quits drugs. I was not jealous of drug addicts. How insane would that be?

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That's it, guys. Now you know my insane thoughts. Scary, huh?

not me monday

Monday, monday. Another round of Not Me! Monday thanks to the wild and crazy MckMama. Check it out here.

FAT GIRL CONFESSIONS

It was not me who bought two boxes of Girl Scout cookies, knowing my ability to consume the entire contents of said boxes. Not me.

It was not me who gained seven pounds last month. Not me who was in denial the whole month of February, convincing myself that my pants were looser... Wish it really was NOT ME.

It is not me who thinks about food while brushing her teeth at the end of the day. Not me who has to come to the sad realization that I won't be eating any more today. Wouldn't that be weird? Who does that??

It is not me who sadistically watches the infomercials of skinny girls with great abs. It is not me who snarls slightly while they jump pleasantly around the TV. Not me who simultaneously wants to be them and wants to kill them at the same time. Well, not kill them. That's too harsh. Perhaps just wish a twenty pound weight gain on them... Or not. Hee hee.

not me monday

Not Me! Monday again. It's been a good-ish week. Check out MckMama's tell all over at her site. After you read mine, of course. :)

FAT GIRL CONFESSIONS

It was not me who decided to eat the skin (fried skin) of the chicken breast as opposed to the real meat. After all I am not only eating when I am hungry and stopping when I am full. That would be like, what, how skinny girls eat?? I am so a skinny girl. ;)

It was not me who went grocery shopping twice this week and passed up candy bar treats in the check out. I do not celebrate small victories.

It was not me who stood in the kitchen, snitching the rest of the chocolate covered rice krispy treats at 4:00 in the morning. While holding the wide awake baby. If I did eat that chocolate, I certainly did not chase it with some milk and call it healthy. I am not in denial. Mm-mm. Not me.

That's it for me. By-sers!

not me monday

It is "Not Me!" Monday. Check out MckMama's blogging fun at her site.

Here goes it.

It was not me who threw a bag of bon bons into the snack cabinet and growled at the innocent golden chocolates "you are not going to have the best of me!"

It was not me who at half a box of chocolates while in line at Chick-Fil-A. Well, a little less than half a box. I was hungry, after all. I mean not hungry.

It was not me who managed to spend $35.00 at Cheeseburger in Paradise while splitting the appetizer, the drink, the meal and the dessert with my husband. Cheez. Eating is costly.

That's it for me this week.

not me monday

i am joining the "Not Me!" Monday thing with MckMama. It is a time to fully confess while, well, not confessing.

FAT GIRL CONFESSIONS

It was not me who bought a dozen donuts. And ate them. One by one all day long. Not me. I do not know why the box is empty

It was not me who laid in bed crying in the arms of her hubby. Crying because of my addiction. I do not feel a desperation to loose all this awful weight. Not me. I like being fat

It was not me who dreaded weighing in on Feb 1st (my self-appointed day of reckoning). I did not glare darkly at the bathroom scales. Which are not still hiding under the bathroom cabinet. I did not brave those darn scales. I did not have a mini-celebration when I saw the horrid numbers drop. Slightly. It was so not good. Ah.

not me monday

Who doesn't want to really confess? Not me. Check it out at MckMama's blog for the Not Me Monday fun.

FAT GIRL CONFESSIONS

It was not me who baked a cake, frosted it and ate way too much of it. I would never sabotage my own dieting efforts. I am certainly not my own worst enemy.


It was not me who threw the bathroom scales under the bathroom sink so that I would not have to look at them. I am not afraid of knowing my weight. I am not in denial.


It was not me who tried on three different outfits today before church. I did not stare at the huge bulge I call my stomach as it protruded grotesquely from underneath my pretty sweater. I did not blurt out to the empty room, "that just doesn't look right." That body is so not me.


Sad, but true. Or not. Whatever.