the biting truth

 

Thursday, April 2, 2009

once upon a time there was a girl

Once upon a time there was a girl. A girl who loved her new body, despite it's 200 pounds. A girl who celebrated her weightloss by picking up things that weighed 100 pounds. She could barely lift what was once a part of her 300 pound body.

Once upon a time there was a girl. A girl who grew to love to work out. Seriously. She got up every morning, pulled on the laid out exercise clothes, and woke her foggy brain with the early morning air. She jogged no matter the weather. Only if it was single digits [nine degrees or below] would she succumb to working out inside and then it was to TAEBO videos. This girl worked hard.

Once upon a time there was a girl. A girl who conquered her addiction. A girl who learned to walk past the ice cream freezer and treat herself with a new bottle of nail polish instead of a pound of fattening food. A girl who could scope out an all-you-can-eat-buffet and know exactly how many WW points were contained in each dish.

Once upon a time this girl fell in love and got married. Her husband wanted to make love in the mornings so she began to skip her morning walks. [Who can deny the handsome prince charming?] Those morning [and afternoon and evening] "cuddle" sessions soon produced beautiful children. But the pregnancies proved to difficult and came so often her body didn't have time to recover. Old addictive behaviors snuck back and clung to her like an evil demon and food, once again, became her enemy.

Once upon a time the girl became a mother and self priorities were slowly pushed to the back burner. Needs became minimal and survival mode kicked in. Children took sleep in the night and the sunrise always came early. The mother grew heavier and heavier as the years flew by.

Once upon a time there was a mother. The mother had beautiful girls and boys. The girls and boys needed their mother to remember The Girl who had disappeared. The Girl who had committed herself to a life of health and vitality.

I can feel The Girl inside me. Walking out of the YMCA yesterday....... It was like that old Me, The Girl, reached out and touched me. It was a re-kindling in my inner self. The old feelings of owning exercise, of enjoying that work out time period, it all flooded my self and I breathed deeply the nostalgic thoughts.

Somehow, I must combine The Girl and The Mother. I do not want to be The Girl. She was selfish and immature. But, I do want to glean from her and learn from her. I want to remember her hopes and dreams and somehow, someway, unite them with who I am now.

To be continued............

8 comments:

C.C. and Double T said...

You go, girl!

Alicia said...

Great post! I can completely understand that. I was once the same way. However, I need to get back into that mind set.

I hope everything is going well with your program!

April said...

I was totally the same way. It's amazing how you can be so immature when young, but still be able to curb the addiction and have self dicipline.

The hardest part is getting started. The second hardest part is making it a habit. You've got the first part down!

Isn't working out totally great?? It's like a drug!

Juls said...

very well said... :)

The Masked Mommy said...

I love this! Well written! You are so inspiring. I'm always so happy when I stop by and there is a new post :-)

Serenity said...

Jellybean~

What a beautiful post...I know all to well "that Girl"...What I wouldn't give to have some of her back!

Stephanie said...

You have so much insight, I know you can do it.

Tinika said...

You go girl! I know you will find the perfect balance!