the biting truth


Sunday, March 8, 2009

it hurt to fall off the wagon today

I fell of the wagon today. I lost my "care" and threw it all away. I ate whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted... You know, it really just started around 2pm. What happened?? I have been searching inside myself asking what flipped the switch today.

Yesterday was a hard day. I found out that a sweet young girl's husband left her a month ago. Out of the blue. He spent two tours in Iraq and has been suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. One month ago, my little friend came home to find her husband's things gone. She doesn't know where he is or what he is doing. He has called her twice. He says he still loves her but is afraid he will hurt her.

She told me this at another friend's baby shower. I was bowled over. Numb feeling. It rocked me inside and made me feel sick. Made me want to run home to my husband and feel his arms around me.

Perhaps this sadness swirled around and pushed me over to the food bar. I don't know.

I get Alicia over at her 2009 Weightloss Journey. I get being tired of the fat. I want it to magically disappear, too.

But it won't if I keep eating like I did from 2pm to 10pm today. Humongous SIGH. Did you hear it?


dmelen said...

There is doing to be days like this. I am sorry about the hard day. Tomorrow is a new one. Hang in there.

The Masked Mommy said...

Bad days are hard. They're hard because you feel guilty when you're done, and then you feel like it's helpless when it's over. When I cheat on a diet, then I feel like I have to eat everything I can before I start dieting again, and I just gain all kinds of weight! Don't do that! It's backwards! Every bit helps, and that's the truth! All the more reason to do well tomorrow!

Sorry about your friend. Too often when someone shares something like that we have no idea how to react. It's very sad.

But food won't make you feel better. Only worse. I did badly today for the first time since Valentine's Day. We went out to eat Mexican for lunch. As I was looking for something healthy to order, I ate I-don't-want-to-know-how-many points worth of cheese dip. *sigh*. My first "cheating" session. But I'll do better tomorrow. Good luck! You can do it!

Alicia said...

I fell off the wagon too. Lately has been really hard. Today wasnt that bad until tonight. I came home by myself. I think I felt that if no one saw me eat then I really wasnt eating. Wrong! I feel it especially now. I feel so guilty...but like Dawn said. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully it will be a better day.

Thanks for the kind really helps out in times like these!