the biting truth

 

Monday, February 9, 2009

hoping to not die

You're right, Katster. Thanks for commenting on my blog and keeping it real for this obese girl. If I keep marching along, without making any changes, I will die. As you so eloquently put it.

Every fat girl needs to be reminded by a stranger that she is eating awful foods. Food that kills her. The sad thing is, I already know that!! I am addicted. That's what I keep saying. A.D.D.I.C.T.E.D.

BUT GOD! Psalm 30:2-3 says "O Lord my God, I cried to you for help and you restored my health. You brought me up from the grave, O Lord. You kept me from falling into the pit of death."

Back in January, God brought this verse to my mind. I am desperately seeking His face, remember? I need him. Like a baby needs its mother, I need Him. Like a ship needs its rudder, I need him. Like an addict needs its deliver, I NEED HIM. I believe if I keep following him and seeking him for freedom (like the Thin Within program teaches), God can and will be faithful to save me from the death I so deserve.

I do not want to replace my addiction to food with low-fat or sugar free food. I do not want to replace it with water. Or fruit. Or exercise. I want to replace food addiction with a fulfilling relationship between me and my Creator. This is my deepest desire. To truly not be hungry again.

"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again." John 6:35a
I'm coming, Lord! I'm coming!!

5 comments:

katster said...

i know what addiction is... i smoked before i found out i was pregnant back in 2004... i instantly stoped cold turkey.. i have not smoked since.. trust me i crave it and having 3 kids now.. i crave it even more because it relaxes me.. but then i think about my health and mainly my kids... that would not be fair to my kids..putting myself at risk for diease and leaving them behind... people keep telling me i will always crave cigarets because it will be in my system forever.. but i just have to fight the urge.. the point im trying to make is do it for your self or if you have kids do it for them... there has to be some one in your life to help keep you motivated and if you dont.. like i said just do it for your self.. no one is saying you have to starve your self.. there are ways.. I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT..AND I WILL HELP YOU IN ANY WAY THAT I CAN

Tinika said...

O Lord do not rebuke me in Your anger...
have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak...
my soul is greatly troubled...how long O Lord- how long...
return, O Lord, deliver me...
for in death there is no rememberance of You; in the grave who will give you thanks...
I am weary with my groanings; all night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears; my eyes waste away becaues of grief...
the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping the Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord will recieve my prayer...Psalms chapter 6 (well most of it anyway).

I thought about that when I read this post. It has helped me so much over the years, I hope you find comfort in it as well.

I learned recently that we have to speak good over ourselves. God is in control and even if we miss the mark sometimes it doesnt mean game over. My mom called this morning and reminded me that the very last thing Jesus said on the cross was "It is finished". It's done. It's completed. He has already taken care of all our battles, we just have to start walking in our victory!

I didn't mean to over step any boundaries with that. Sorry if I did. I only meant to encourage. Keep it up...He never promised our victories without battles just that help would always come in time!

Be blessed! And don't forgot you have already got the victory you just have to walk on through to the finish line.

dmelen said...

I am very bothered by Katster's comment. I believe you are correct... don't replace the addiction to other food, it just does not cure the problem. You are on the right path, I believe.

Amanda said...

From one fat girl to another, I don't know that I would put much weight into Katster's comments. Yes, we do need to lose weight, but what we need to focus on more is being healthy. Being thin does not equate to being healthy. I know plenty of thin people with some very bad health problems. I also know many fat people that are very healthy.

As for me, I decided to get the bad things out of the house and replace them with something a little healthier that I like. I do not deny myself candy, I just have to make a special trip to the store if I want it. When I do make these trips, I only by one. Do I want to buy a whole bag? You betcha! My battle is a lot larger than yours, as I have a lot more weight to lose than you. But with making these changes, I feel better about myself.

NOW FOR KATSTER, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. IF EVERYTHING YOU WRITE HAS TO BE IN ALL CAPS, THEN I QUESTION YOUR ABILITY TO CAPITALIZE AND PUNCTUATE SENTENCES CORRECTLY, WHICH MOST LEARNED IN SECOND GRADE. ALSO, IN THE COMPUTER AGE WRITING IN ALL CAPS USUALLY MEANS YOU ARE YELLING AT SOMEONE. YOUR BLOG LOOKS LIKE YOUR CONSTANTLY SCREAMING. I HOPE THIS IS NOT THE CASE, BUT I WILL PRAY FOR YOU NONE THE LESS. ANOTHER THOUGHT I HAD WAS THAT THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON ON YOUR KEYBOARD WAS STUCK. IF THIS IS THE CASE, KEYBOARDS ARE RELATIVELY INEXPENSIVE AND EASILY REPLACED. MAYBE YOU COULD TRY THIS OPTION.

As for Fat Girl Smile, keep up the fight. It is a long one, but we are going to better, stronger, healthier people for deciding to lean on God and fight the good fight.

Hope you have a great day!

Aunt of 14 said...

*raises one eyebrow* at Kat.