the biting truth

 

Thursday, February 12, 2009

i do not love me

Here's a revelation for ya. I do not really love myself. Yep. If I did love myself, I would take care of me. I would not stuff my face to the point of a belly ache. I would go for a walk every day. I would not keep eating even when I know it hurts me.

I don't let my children have more than two cookies; why do I eat the entire jar? I take better care of my kids [not to mention, my husband] than I do myself.

It is a shocking realization, but I don't think I believe I am worth it.

What will it take to make me want to take care of me? God tells me in Psalm 139 that I am "fearfully and wonderfully" made. "His works are wonderful". That means ME! If I could really grasp His love for me; if I could truly wrap my frail mind around what his LOVE means to ME... I just might be free. Free to take care of this fearfully and wonderfully made person.

Now, that's a Valentine's Day thought.... Anyways....

5 comments:

Alicia said...

He does Love you but you have to love you! It's hard, I know. I havent loved myself in a while. But I am starting to. I am striving to do better and I think you can do the same. I know you can. You are a wonderful person that takes care of everybody BUT yourself. You have to take care of yourself in order to really take care of them. You have to overcome this for YOU & them. It will be a long hard journey but you can do it! You have me as support and many others! Keep praying...it will come!

Gracie said...

You are fearfully and wonderfully made and God has awesome plans for your life. You were designed by the very one who formed the Universe and placed each star in the sky and every grain of sand on the shore. When we speak bad of ourselves (I'm so guilty of this!!!), we are speaking bad of God's creation and saying to Him that he is the creator of junk, which we know isnt true!

countrygirl said...

I agree that from what I read you are a wonderful person and deserve all the best. I like you take care of everyone else before myself I always have. I am trying to start taking care of myself also. I am overweight and have not seem to found a diet yet that I can stick to. But this year I am determined to. I am glad I can come here and read what your going thru too

Amanda said...

I decided that, when I started my diet today (feel free to snort here), that I can't fail. Cause I have the most POWERFUL force of Good in the Universe on my side.

HE wants to to be my best.

And I have to remember, He loves me RIGHT now. No matter what I look like. God does not judge on appearance... He sees us differently.

The main reason I want to be skinny is because I want to be taken seriously in this world. I want my testimony and my knowledge to impact others in a way that makes thier lives better... and the best way to be taken seriously is to be skinny.

Gotta go. Bowl of cereal calling.

Many blesssings-
Amanda

Ronda said...

I can so relate with what you are saying! I do so much for all those around me, loving them, doing for them and then I put myself last. God loves me unconditionally, why can't I have that kind of love for myself. Even half of what he has for me would be a wonderful start. I have a wonderful bible study group that are great for my ego and make me feel great about myself, but I need to feel that way about myself without their help. I am working on it and hope to one day grow up to be a big girl in Christ and accept the love that he has to offer me.

God bless!