the biting truth


Monday, February 23, 2009

the up-chuck option

After a week of the stomach bug floating around my house, I have given cause to consider bulimia as an option for weightloss. Now, I've been a fat girl for atleast 10 years and this is not the first time I consider vomiting as a weightloss tool. In my weakest and most desperate moments, I have even tried to gag myself.

I am not really into throw up, though. It is gross. Plus, my gagging efforts [years and years ago] were to no avail. I ended that session just sitting by the toilet crying over my food addiction. Since then, God, in his mercy, continues to show me the light at the end of the tunnel. Bulimia is not the answer. There is no freedom there; only more bondage.

And, truly, a week watching my kids throw up, cleaning puke off endless sheets, bathing the toddler at midnight, and then vomiting myself after a night of intense stomach aches... really doesn't make me want to jump on board the bulimia boat.

OK. So, I just read over my post and it's kind of gross. Sorry about that....

Here's something that frosts my cookies, though: Why is it that insurance will pay for treatments of bulimia and anorexia, but not overeating. I need help, too!! Basically, right now, I am treating my eating disorder with counseling. Reading the Thin Within material, is like self-counseling sessions. Well, counseling sessions with God... If I may be so forward. Also, several of my friends around here in fat girl land are reading the book, too. We are praying with each other and encouraging each other. That is muy importante.

Anywho. Cool to see 35 Followers down there. Feeling very followed. :)


Alicia said...

Hey! I wondered why I havent heard from you in 6 days. I hope everyone in your household is better including you:) I was actually getting ready to comment on your last post to check on you. I am still praying for you!

Jenn(ifer) said...

Aw man! I'm sorry you all have been so sick. (my husband has the darn flu all last week, so I sympathize) I'm glad you are better now :)

I agree, something should be done on the other end of the food disorder spectrum. Obesity is a lot more common than bulemia/anorexia in this country, and kills more people so why don't the insurance companies do something about it? Maybe because they know that overweight people have more health problems & need to go to the doctors more thus they ge their money? Perhaps? Or maybe I'm turning into a conspiracy theorist, lol.

Amanda said...

Boy, have I been there. When I was saved, I thought, I am SOO gonna be thin now cause I have the power of Jesus Christ behind me and HE is the most powerful source of good in the universe!

Well. While that is true, losing weight was still going to require effort on my part.

I heard this depserate plea once...

"I would do ANYTHING to lose weight...

.... except diet and exercise."

Ha! So true for me!

God bless-