the biting truth


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

my rain jiggles

So, it is obvious that I hate the fat. Who loves flab? We weren't meant to jiggle... [Well, maybe our rears were meant to jiggle. Isn't that supposed to be sexy or something? But not the belly. Definitely not the belly...] The struggle to get the fat off is long. And hard. No matter how you tackle the darn thing.

But the exterior of myself is nothing compared to the inner turmoil. The storm that rages and rains. Fat is like seeing the rain without seeing the storm clouds. Every time we see a fat person, it should be a clue that there was a storm somewhere in that person's life. Fat is the rain from my storm.

I rarely make it to the movies, but I did catch one the other day. Unfortunately, it was awful! It was "Mall Cop". I thought I would love it, but I so did not. I felt very made-fun-of throughout the movie. Fat people in general were the butt of the joke. Ick. At one point of the movie, the shy and backward mall cop heads to a party. There, he and the other fat boy had a nacho-eating contest. Because, you know, that's what us fat people do at parties. Every fat person wants to highlight their fatness and show off their pig out abilities.

There are things in my past that I have buried so deeply that I cannot see it for the layers of fat that cover it up. I smile blindly when you ask me about my childhood. Oh yeah, it was great. No, I was not screamed at. Oh, no that wasn't me. Yeah sure my mother said, "I wish you'd never been born"... but I know she didn't mean it so I am FINE. So totally and completely fine.

Pass the chocoalte, please.


Stephanie said...

Honestly I don't think fat jokes are any more appropriate than racist ones.

Jenn(ifer) said...

::Hugs:: I know... I really do. I also 'did not' grow up hearing the same things and 'did not' get beat on a regular basis. It does something to a person & you can't help but to wonder if that is the reasoning behind our emotional eating.

April said...

I'm really sorry for your past, and yes, a lot of the time being fat is a result of a childhood trauma - or just a bad childhood in general.

I on the other hand had an AMAZING childhood - and still wound up fat. I think when people make fat jokes it's HILARIOUS. My husband (who's about 400lbs) makes fat jokes ALL the time. Sometimes it's a coping mechanism, sometimes it's just plain funny.

But you're right - fat people don't just go to parties to have nacho eating contests. However, when I am AT a party, there's no denying that I think about food or when I'm going to get it next. People may stereotype fat people - but it's because most of the time ITS TRUE! lol at least for ME and my husband!

Serenity said...

I understand completely how you feel and while it is nice to see someone else who seems to be going through what I go through, it still sucks and I am sorry for you. (((Hugs)))